While out walking and “praying” one night I was consumed with angry thoughts, considering how someone had really hurt me. Over and over in my mind scenarios played of sharing what they’d done and exposing their immaturity and sin. Half way through my walk I cried out to the Lord, “Why am I so consumed with this? I’ve forgiven them as much as I know how! Why is this such a big deal, that I’m not even able to enjoy time interacting with you? Would you please give me wisdom to understand what’s going on in my heart?”
The very next day the Lord answered my question through what our pastor preached on! During the sermon he asked, “Do we believe we have a Heavenly Father who delights in justice and delights in us?” If not, he explained, we take on an orphan mentality where we feel like we have to take care of things ourselves.
I realized, when I was so deeply hurt, the Lord truly did bring great good out of it. But when I saw the good that came out of it, my thinking got a bit off track without me realizing it and I supposed that because such good came out of the pain, God wasn’t really concerned with the fact that I had been hurt so deeply. It was so good to be reminded that even though God brings good out of the hard things that happen to us, He is still a God of justice and He still cares deeply when we are wounded.
I have a friend who was raped and as a result started to follow the Lord. God was at work bringing great good out of horrible wickedness, but that doesn’t mean He didn’t care deeply for how she was wounded. He carries our griefs. He bears our sorrows. And because He is a God of justice He will take care of the offender.
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written “Vengeance is mine. I will repay,” says the Lord.” Romans 12:19
Never noticed it before, but that is a promise!!!
I can’t even begin to tell you how loved I felt as I sat there listening to the Lord provide the answer to my question the very next day through our pastor! What an amazing communicator – and carer the Lord is!
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast, or have no compassion on the child she has born? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15